[Wrapped In Ivy] Sniff This
I was sitting at the front desk at work today when a customer
approached. I recognized him immediately. He is a very nice, older
gentleman and a long-time customer with whom we are all very familiar.
I greeted him by name and asked how he was doing and what I could do
for him. He explained he needed to reorder some contacts, so I
proceeded to look up his records in the computer.While I was typing
away, he leaned over the desk and, with a slight swagger in his voice,
said: "Boy, you smell really good. Don't mind if I just lean in and
have another whiff.".Why, yes...I DO mind as a matter of fact.
Seriously, did this guy just smell me? Did he really just lean over the
desk and ask if he could "have a whiff"? As if to confirm the
uncomfortable reality of the situation, he followed up with: "Mmm,
yeah...that is quite nice.".Insert "Side Show Bob" shudder here.So I
know I've known this guy for ten some-odd years and we're all on a
first name basis and everything, but I'm just not sure how he felt his
comments were a) in any way appropriate and b) not creepy as shit.Oddly
enough, this is not the first event of it's kind. If I had a dollar for
every man with an AARP card who made a creepy and/or innapropriate
comment to me, I could finally make that trip to Europe. So what's this
all about?Perhaps these men are just trying to relive their youths in
some feeble way, or maybe they just get a kick out of flirting with
younger women. Conceivably, they are just plain dirty old bastards.
Sorry, fellas...but it's gonna take a bit more than your senior citizen
discount for Denny's Grand Slam breakfast and a tube of aspercreme to
win me over. How about a time machine for starters?In all reality, I'm
not sincerely offended by any of these off-color gentlemen. Mostly I'm
just baffled by their motivation and tastelessness. And I wonder what
their wives would say if they were caught, for example, sniffing pretty
young girls at the eye doctors office like a kindergartner sniffs
glue.Still, perhaps I should start keeping track. I'll put a dollar in
a jar for every dirty old dude to cross my path and we'll see how soon
I can get to Europe.